Bet You Didn’t Know it Will Be the Republicans That Come for Your Guns?

Bet You Didn’t Know it Will Be the Republicans That Come for Your Guns?

It won’t happen overnight of course, but in 10-15 years Republicans will be the ones pushing for gun controls, registrations, and confiscations of your guns – so enjoy them now while you can.

I expect them to be very successful in this drive.

You may think I’m crazy to think this way, but that’s my job here . . .  to observe social phenomenon and patterns and project out their natural evolutions.  Anyone can project the obvious ones, like the dissolution of the middle class, a rise in cyber-crime and cyber espionage, etc.    I don’t really expect you to believe me; this analysis is really just for my own amusement but if you are curious how I arrive at this conclusion, come along with me.

Let’s get to the first obvious point I mention in in the previous paragraph.  You may not believe me on this point, and that’s okay, but the data on this issue is pretty obvious and incontrovertible.  Our middle class is disappearing and it’s not coming back unless something radical happens.  The trend for the last 30-40 years has been greater and greater income inequality.  Our wealth is being siphoned off by multinational corporations with Cayman Island addresses, politically connected individuals that give themselves or their cronies’ sweetheart deals, and unpatriotic souls availing themselves of every available tax loophole or tax haven they can find (or pay to have created by Congress.)

This trend is about to rapidly accelerate.  The primary factor behind this is the oversized and unregulated influence of virtually unlimited money unleashed by the Supreme Court’s Citizens United decision.  That decision opened the floodgates for Corporations and individuals to spend unlimited amounts of money in elections without disclosing their identities.  The Supreme Court made the argument that:

  •  Corporations are “people”
  • Money  equals speech
  • Congress does not have the right to limit speech of “people.”

I won’t bother to explain how this will impact elections and how elected officials will respond to this development.  Anyone with even half a brain (so that means most Republican’s too) can see the insane amounts of money being raised from relatively few individuals now.  Those individuals and corporations are buying access to our officials, and drafting legislation for them to introduce.  This legislation will favor the rights and finances of the few over the many.  These bills will favor policies that wring the wealth from our country for the coffers of any who covet it.  There will be no long term consideration paid to environmental factors, education issues, health issues, or sustainability.  Any freedoms you will be left with will be illusory; tokens to appease the majority while a small minority strips this country bare and enslaves its people for our corporatist overlords.  Many of these laws and freedoms will be designed to generate hate and drive wedges between various unincorporated and disenfranchised sections of our country.  Laws have and will continue to be sponsored and created that allow or ban gay marriage, limit or allow abortions and birth controls, restrict or encourage various religions over other ones.  These actions are how they keep everyone’s eye off the ball.  They stir up hate and antipathy with highly contentious bills, while more oblique ones get slipped in that deprive you of your rights, property, and future.

So how do I get to the guns part?

Eventually we will start to starve.  Our country will attain 3rd World status.  The pain, suffering and inequality will be too hard to hide.  The wealthy will build isolated enclaves to keep us out and keep the truth about their obscene amounts of wealth away from prying eyes, but their children, their princelings, will want to play with the world beneath their feet – the world where their sewage trickles down to – for us to try and live on.

Eventually even Fox News will lose its luster and as so many are left homeless, unemployed, and hopeless.  Wewill still have “guns and religion” though.  That is always a dangerous combination.  This is when the wealthy will come for the guns.  They will enact laws that limit the size and the quantity of your hardware.  They will limit your magazine sizes and lengthen your waiting periods and enact usage restrictions.  They will close your parks to hunting (those cost taxes to maintain so that will be easy) and they will eventually simply take your guns so you are powerless to oppose them.

I am personally in favor of much more gun controls than we have.  I would like to see them banned in many places they are now commonplace because I do think they cause many unnecessary deaths, increase crime, and overall encourage a darker, more barbaric and confrontational culture.  However, with what I see coming in the next few years, the guns and the gun owners may be our only hope to throw off the yokes of our corporatist oppressors.

However the Corporatists are already conditioning us.  They are sponsoring and creating unregulated “religious” schools through “voucher” and private “scholarship” programs from which they will turn our children into obedient fanatics in much the same way Yasser Arafat converted an entire generation of Palestinians into suicide bombs.  Their plan is to create a Christian based theocratic puppet government.  This government will encourage us to take on vows of austerity and poverty in the name of piety and pseudo-nationalism while our true masters rollick in their Olympianesque Edens.

So hold onto your guns while you can.  At least maybe that way you keep your illusion of being free a little longer.


A Letter From John “Ivory Tower” White – Superintendent of Education for Louisiana’s Schools

A Letter From John “Ivory Tower” White – Superintendent of Education for Louisiana’s Schools

An open letter from John White to the teachers and parents (aka dumb asses) in Louisiana:

Louisiana teachers and parents, get your heads out of your collective fat asses.  It’s obvious that you are too obsessed with “adult issues” like salaries, jobs, and schools for your children, when we should be focusing on “children” (not yours, but the children of the CEOs running the for profit education companies.)

You don’t see me whining about the piddling 275,000 a year salary – which is all you hayseeds could cough up.  I’m used to New York money – that’s what we pay our cabbies in New York.  I’ve had to take on “faith” that all the education corporations will give me juicy kickbacks and appointments when I leave this hell-hole of a state (in much worse shape than I found it.)  That’s what you’ve cretins have reduced me to, faith; that my true master will properly compensate me for selling you out.  There’s probably a finite limit to the number of places i can turn upside-down while yielding no credible gains and pretty soon it will be clear I’ve turned you into a bunch of knuckle dragging monkeys (I believe in devolution, just not evolution.)

Just look how they greeted my departure in New York so consider yourself lucky i felt you were worthy of my time.

Anyways, back to the children.  My extensive inexperience in teaching, and actually listening to educators and researchers, has allowed me to develop an untested model for improving and impoverishing education.  This model has sprung – fully grown – from my bizarrely bushy chiaesque head-stuff and required absolutely no research on my part to design!  If you object to any small part of my plan, that makes you an obstructionist and a member of the “coalition of the status quo.”  Quo is bad.  Questioning is bad. They just learned (or is that unlearned?) that in Texas.  Unproven for-profit ALEC sponsored corporate models are good.  Religious schools are all good, especially ones that teach with biblical DVD’s because God watches over them so they do not need testing or oversight. . .  but not Muslim Gods or any religions with gods that approve of gays. (Sorry Unitarians)

I’d also like you to drop those pesky lawsuits.  I mean, lets face it, you have some valid points like how the legislature approved the MFP on the last day of the session with just a majority of legislators present (and not a full majority.  I can’t wait till you guys start calling votes during midnight sessions to ram through controversial legislation with.  That will look great on the Daily Show!)   If you would just pretend to care about children, like I do, you would see that we should just overlook the fact that the funding for MFP is constitutionally dedicated to public schools and we never made an attempt to get a constitutional amendment before the people of Louisiana.

Why didn’t we?

Well, because we knew that would fail and your children (hypothetical children that learn best in this education system ALEC. . .  err, I mean, I’m proposing) can’t wait for you to decide what’s best for them!  Well, except when it comes to random schools that teach kids with DVDs.  Then you do understand whats best for your kids, as long as the DVDs have christian elements and skirt that controversial “evolution” issue.  No Muslim DVDs because everyone hates Muslims. .  almost as much as the gay kids.  That’s why I strongly support the Reverend Gene Mills in trying to get a bill passed that will make bullying gay kids a top priority for your state!  (I’d be in favor bullying out your immigrants too, but they prefer more developed places like Alabama and Mexico to Louisiana.)

So get over your adult issues, Louisiana.  Your stupid constitution, your stupid insistence on voting  for things rather than having decrees handed down from your betters,  your stupid “actual” children that will suffer under my reign of ignorance, and get with the program!

If you just do what i say, I’ll make the numbers looks good.   Trust me.  We’re not actually collecting any real data anymore, so i can make them look however I want!

That will make me look good, and your legislators look good, and allow Jindal to escape this hell-hole too.  And besides, when I’m through, your children will be too ignorant to understand what happened.

PS.  I’ve heard Jindal has another couple of chicken processing plants ready to go.  My number one priority now is to make sure your children are prepared for a lifetime of chicken.

Louisiana Believes


One love.

Eeat mor ChikeN

If the United States is a Christian Nation, Then It Appears to Have Been Taken Over By Satan

If the United States is a Christian Nation, Then It Appears to Have Been Taken Over By Satan

Lately I’ve been hearing more and more people claim to speak for the Founding Fathers.  They claim that the Founding Fathers, in their vast and infallible wisdom, only meant for freedom of religion to extend to Christian based religions.

(They did not actually put this in so many words because they were too busy writing so many other documents and fighting so many wars and what not that it slipped their minds. . . I guess.  It’s probably also excusable because only a few thousand other religions existed at the time the Constitution was written, so to exclude each one would have taken, like forever or something, or maybe they planned to get around to explicitly excluding Muslims after a few more Crusades.)

The Founding Fathers just assumed we’d be smart enough to know what parts of the Constitution to deviate from and which ones to stick our guns on, (That was a shout out to my Second Amendment Homies.  I’m my own militia, y’all!)

Anywho, back to this whole Christian thing.  The Founding fathers were obviously too busy calibrating scales to measure black people as 3/5ths of a normal white person, (well black males versus white males anyways – sorry ladies!) to have taken the time to put freedom of “Christian” based religions only in their Bill of Rights.

“Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; ”

And that part about making no law “respecting” the establishment of a religion obviously meant Congress was supposed to make lots of laws establishing and affirming [Christian based] religions, (but not the Mormons unless they happen to have a serious Republican presidential candidate), they just weren’t supposed to be very respectful to the laws they [Congress] make.  After seeing how most Congressmen seem to totally disregard their own laws, I can safely say they’ve got that covered!

So obviously, we were meant to be a Christian nation, with lots of laws establishing Christianity disrespectfully!  I think we have that covered too!

  • Instead of turning the other cheek, we are heavily investing in as much military equipment as we can to blow those cheeks off of any face on the planet – from the safety of a creepy drone van, down by a miscellaneous river.
  • Instead of taking care of our infirm and poor we are defunding programs that support our neediest citizens and giving that money to our wealthiest citizens – so they have money to buy off our the politicians that make such transactions possible and profitable.
  • Instead of educating our citizens we are enriching our corporations, at the expense of our children and clueless taxpayers.  We pay these charter operators and virtual schools regardless of their educational outcomes, all in the name of freedom of choice!
  • Not only have we let the money lenders back into the temples, we’ve handed them the keys, let them rent them back to us at exorbitant rates while they sell off the copper pipes and stained glass windows.  Meanwhile they sell us any nifty false idol they can think of in form of trademarked goods and services.  (I need me some of those new Coca-Cola Nike Air Jordan McDonald’s Tiffany’s FuBu Ralph Lauren GE pet rocks!)
  • Somehow we’ve even turned transformed Christ into a Capitalist, and Satan into a Socialist.  If that isn’t completely disingenuous and backwards, I don’t know what is!
  • The most “Christian” of our states protect and revel in the use of the death penalty to such an extent that the mere mention of it triggers fervent applause and obvious feelings of  sadistic pleasure; rather than humility or shame.

So, if we assume that the people who claim the US was meant to be a Christian nation are correct, and we actually understand any of the teachings of Christ where he defended the poor, healed the sick, fed the hungry, forgave the sinners, and gave his life rather than take the lives of others; we would quickly realize the nation has become the exact opposite of what Christ preached.  Our country has been taken over by Christian based agents of evil, namely devils and demons under the sway of Satan.

– Or

The Constitution actually was meant to protect all religions and those dumb asses that claim otherwise  are full of shit and never actually opened a bible or read the Constitution.  They probably learned about Christianity from Toby Keith and Hank Williams Jr. aka Bocephus.  (Hmm, Bocephus appears to mean Devil Dog. . .  I wonder?)

Bocephus – the Devil Dog